Cut The Drama

Why haven't I posted for the last few days. Two reasons.
1. I have been super busy
2. I haven't felt inspired

Recently, some events in my life have changed my level of inspiration and my level of motivation. I am not a fan of people airing their dirty laundry on the internet so I won't be going in to detail, but I will reflect on what I have learned and hopefully can share a few things that, if applied to your own life, could drastically change how you interact with people.

Is confrontation always necessary? I have been fighting with this question for about two days now. If some one wrongs you, is it always necessary to confront them?

Please do not be confused about how I ask this question. I do not have a problem confronting people.

Confrontation does not intimidate me. 

What I'm trying to avoid here, is useless drama.

After several google searches, I am still left empty handed. The only information people have to provide on the internet about confrontation is how to overcome a fear on confrontation. But what about the people that do not fear it, but do not know if a situation requires confrontation?

If you are the type of person who confronts people too often, your a drama queen. You are searching for the fight and are most likely causing more problems than you are solving.

So I am in search of a happy medium.

After talking to my mother about confrontation, I have taken notes and have tried to build some tips can guide people in their decision.

We must ask ourselves a series of questions:

What are you trying to achieve? - Take a look at what exactly you are trying to achieve through confrontation. If you are trying to hurt someone's feelings, confrontation is unnecessary, and an immature reaction to whatever you may be dealing with. If your goal is productive to a healthy relationship, then confrontation may be necessary.

Who are you confronting? - It is important to look at who you are confronting because of the obvious conclusion that they may not care what you have to say. If some one is important to you, and they value you equally, then confrontation can improve the relation between you. Take a look at how well you know the person, and how you value them.

Will confrontation help you reach your goal - If someone has stolen from you, and you are sure about it, yes confrontation may help you get your stuff back If someone has hurt you, and you want to continue to have a relationship with that person, then they need to know. If someone has wronged you and you no longer want to associate yourself with them, then why confront them? It will only cause more stress for yourself.

Sometimes confrontation is not worth it. It can cause stress for yourself and unless there is a desired, and honorable result that can be achieved through confrontation, then avoid the unneeded stress.

Lastly I would like to lay down a few rules for confrontation that we all should follow.

Privacy - Confrontation should always be done in private. Facebook is not an acceptable place to confront someone. This is only asking for problems and attention.

Face to face - Your body language and tone convey more than you may think. Something said over the phone or over text may sound way different than if done in person.

With love - If you have a legitimate reason to confront someone, it should be to better a relationship with that person, and then confrontation should only be done in love, not anger, not spite.

After a little soul searching and after receiving a little guidance, I have come to the conclusion that I will not be confronting the person that I believe has wronged me. I do not wish to continue my relationship with that person and confrontation would only cause trouble.

What do you think?
Any other rules for confrontation that I may have missed?

Leave a comment!