Crazy Stupid Love

It's coming up on two years since I have posted and I think it has been way to long. I'm excited to see how this pans out and to compare my thoughts now to my thoughts then. If you end up reading through this feel free to leave me a comment, challenge me. I love getting feedback.

If you have seen Crazy Stupid Love, please raise your hand.

(If you actually raised your hand, your cool. Air five )

If you haven't seen it I highly recommend it, It's my favorite movie. 

The premise: 

A middle-aged husband's life changes dramatically when his wife asks him for a divorce. He seeks to rediscover his manhood with the help of a newfound friend, Jacob, learning to pick up girls at bars.

^^^^ I copy+pasted that 

Whats so special about this movie?

Crazy Stupid Love captures one of my favorite aspects of life.

Change.

People who say "People never change" are victims and victims suck.

Every morning when you wake up, you have the ability to decide who you will be that day. Its incredible how little your personality, temperament, or history have to do with it. The only reason those things could ever hold you back is because you assign them value. 

Think about how you define yourself. Are you...

Introverted or extroverted?

Intelligent or stupid?

Exciting or dull?

Nice or rude?

Cool or lame?

Popular or unpopular?

Uptight or easy going?

Wild or mild?

Confident or shy?

Most people have a pretty good idea about who they are.

What is crazy to me, is that while most people know who they are, who they are doesn't always align with who they would like to be. Why can't who we are align with who we would like to be? They can, and it's frickin easy.

Take a moment to collect who you are...

Then abandon the entire idea.

You have the power to challenge your perception of yourself, and more importantly to abandon it.

It is a beautiful thing to be able to wake up everyday and decide who you will be. Once you can fully abandon your perception of yourself, you can embrace every experience as a new one and truly grow from them. 

If you are choosing to continually strive to fit the mold that you have made for yourself, you will continually be a victim of your own perception. 

If I continue to type about this, I will feel like I am ranting. 

If you like this idea and would like to learn more check out a book called Reinventing Yourself by Steve Chandler

Share your thoughts with me

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Olivia Munn (Modest Is Hottest)

Olivia Munn. We all know who Olivia Munn is right? Rated number two on Maxims Hot 100. You may not know her for her acting, her comedy skit or her writing, but who could overlook a girl that hot? Most men would falter in any contest to look away. She's absolutely beautiful, she's certainly your type, and hell she's almost naked.

A girl this hot, in a pose as provocative as this, with such little clothing on. Its hard not to stare.

Girls Wait! Don't leave!! This is not an article intended for Maxim!

Guys lets get serious. If you could marry Olivia Munn, would you? Would you take her to be your wife, have your children, and grow old with her?

I know I wouldn't. What's wrong with Olivia Munn? Probably nothing on the outside, but there is something huge missing on the inside.

Modesty.

Olivia Munn has no respect for modesty. She is gorgeous yes, but would I trust a woman like that with the hearts of my children. Hell No! This is huge guys! We all need to understand, that our children will be shaped and molded by their mothers in more ways than we can comprehend. Do you want your daughter to grow up and do things like this? How would you feel? I would feel very disappointed and I would consider myself a failed parent to have a child that cannot respect their body and feels a need to show off their body on every possible occasion.

I want a hot girl. Don't get me wrong. As shallow as that may sound, I am looking for a physically attractive woman, but not one that doesn't appreciate the sacrality of their own body.

Take a look at that! Olivia Munn has covered up most of her body, and is still beautiful. It doesn't take provocative clothing to look good. I understand that no one would go in public dressed like the first picture, but it isn't out of the ordinary for girls to show off a ton of inappropriate skin in public.

Cover up ladies! 

I'm sick of hearing girls complain about their troubled relationships when in reality, the reason your boyfriend is a douchebag, is because you don't respect yourself. Do you really think your going to find prince charming if you don't respect your body? When girls dress provocatively, they are attracting guys that have sexual intentions in mind.

When girls dress modestly, they are more likely to attract less creeps, and more likely to attract quality guys that are more interested in who they are than what's underneath.

...but seriously Olivia Munn is HOT!

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Courageous

I am awestruck by this powerful movie. If you haven't already, you need to go see the movie Courageous. It is a great christian movie, which some people may not be interested in, but it does a great job of communicating so much beautiful wisdom, about family, friendship, and christianity that I truly believe everyone should see it. Every man at least.

The movie identifies some statistics within the dialogue that helps to draw attention to the lack of leadership that so many families have due to weak fathers.

Here are a few that I found after a quick Google search:

-Young men who grow up without a father are twice as likely to end up in jail at some point in their life.
-63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes
-71% of all high school dropouts are from fatherless homes

These are huge numbers, about very serious topics.

If you would like to take a look at a few more you can check out this link:
http://fatherhood.about.com/od/fathersrights/a/fatherless_children.htm

The facts do not lie. 

Any idiot can have a child. It's all about stepping up to the plate and being there.

Something that I have heard several times over the years is that
"Ninety percent of being a father is just showing up"

I'm not trying to belittle any fathers out there who may be reading this, I know that being a dad must be hard beyond my comprehension, but I think being there for your children is a good start. So many men are too selfish to put in the time that it takes to raise a child.

Any man without a strong relationship with their children is not only missing out, but depriving that child of so much more than they can imagine.

So this is a call to all men reading this.

Go watch Courageous!

..and try not to cry.


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Cut The Drama

Why haven't I posted for the last few days. Two reasons.
1. I have been super busy
2. I haven't felt inspired

Recently, some events in my life have changed my level of inspiration and my level of motivation. I am not a fan of people airing their dirty laundry on the internet so I won't be going in to detail, but I will reflect on what I have learned and hopefully can share a few things that, if applied to your own life, could drastically change how you interact with people.

Is confrontation always necessary? I have been fighting with this question for about two days now. If some one wrongs you, is it always necessary to confront them?

Please do not be confused about how I ask this question. I do not have a problem confronting people.

Confrontation does not intimidate me. 

What I'm trying to avoid here, is useless drama.

After several google searches, I am still left empty handed. The only information people have to provide on the internet about confrontation is how to overcome a fear on confrontation. But what about the people that do not fear it, but do not know if a situation requires confrontation?

If you are the type of person who confronts people too often, your a drama queen. You are searching for the fight and are most likely causing more problems than you are solving.

So I am in search of a happy medium.

After talking to my mother about confrontation, I have taken notes and have tried to build some tips can guide people in their decision.

We must ask ourselves a series of questions:

What are you trying to achieve? - Take a look at what exactly you are trying to achieve through confrontation. If you are trying to hurt someone's feelings, confrontation is unnecessary, and an immature reaction to whatever you may be dealing with. If your goal is productive to a healthy relationship, then confrontation may be necessary.

Who are you confronting? - It is important to look at who you are confronting because of the obvious conclusion that they may not care what you have to say. If some one is important to you, and they value you equally, then confrontation can improve the relation between you. Take a look at how well you know the person, and how you value them.

Will confrontation help you reach your goal - If someone has stolen from you, and you are sure about it, yes confrontation may help you get your stuff back If someone has hurt you, and you want to continue to have a relationship with that person, then they need to know. If someone has wronged you and you no longer want to associate yourself with them, then why confront them? It will only cause more stress for yourself.

Sometimes confrontation is not worth it. It can cause stress for yourself and unless there is a desired, and honorable result that can be achieved through confrontation, then avoid the unneeded stress.

Lastly I would like to lay down a few rules for confrontation that we all should follow.

Privacy - Confrontation should always be done in private. Facebook is not an acceptable place to confront someone. This is only asking for problems and attention.

Face to face - Your body language and tone convey more than you may think. Something said over the phone or over text may sound way different than if done in person.

With love - If you have a legitimate reason to confront someone, it should be to better a relationship with that person, and then confrontation should only be done in love, not anger, not spite.

After a little soul searching and after receiving a little guidance, I have come to the conclusion that I will not be confronting the person that I believe has wronged me. I do not wish to continue my relationship with that person and confrontation would only cause trouble.

What do you think?
Any other rules for confrontation that I may have missed?

Leave a comment!

Bad Habits

You don't have to be a raging alcoholic or chronic smoker to realize that you have bad habits. These habits, in some ways are easier to fix, only because they are easier to identify. If you smoke cigarettes, everyone around you knows it, you know it, and odds are, someone tells you to stop quite frequently. If you are a pessimist, maybe no one would tell you. Maybe you would never realize it on your own. You could go through your whole life never knowing that your outlook is distorted in a negative way. I don't think it's too much of a stretch to say that pessimism is a bad habit.

What other bad habits do we have that we may not recognize?
Pessimism is just an example but there are plenty of bad habits that we have that we don't identify and therefore, cannot fix.

One of my better qualities is that I like to think of myself as an innovator. I see things in the world and like to think of ways that they may be done better.

How can we innovate our lives?

What can we add or delete from our lives that will make us better?

I've done my best to create a list of my own bad habits. Some of these I am currently working on. Some I have identified, but have not yet begun to delete from my life.

Procrastination- This is the first thing that comes to mind when I think of bad habits. I have always been a procrastinator. I procrastinate until there is literally not enough time to complete the task at hand and fall short on many of the things that I would otherwise like to do. I find that when I get off my ass and stop procrastinating, I am generally happier and much more productive.

Justifying- While akin to procrastinating, I feel that justifying needs in own bullet, because while I constantly justify my procrastination, I also justify many other bad things in my life and am worse off because of it. I do my best to immediately identify myself as justifying as soon as I start so that I don't lead myself down any paths that I may regret. Justifying is probably one of the hardest for me to correct, because it sounds so good in your head.

Worrying- I have a terrible habit of worrying about the future. What I have to realize and teach myself is that worrying and causing myself anxiety will not help the future in any way. I need to live each day for the present and always remember to work hard and make good moral decisions and the future will be even better than the present.

Hurrying- This one mainly applies to driving. I think this one is a sure sign of me maturing, but over the last year or so, I have begun to comprehend the risk involved with driving. Although I care for my own life and treasure it dearly, I must also remember that everyone else on the road is in danger when I drive dangerously.

Staying up late- How much can I really accomplish after midnight? Unless I am intentionally staying up because I am out with friends or doing something with purpose, staying up late is extremely counter-productive. I often find myself staying up late just for the hell of it and looking at mindless things on the internet. Not only did I get nothing of value done during this time, I am robbing myself of energy for the next day and making the next day just as unproductive.

I hope these open your eyes to some of the bad habits you may have in your life but don't totally realize it. The first step to correcting any problem is to identify it.

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Adventure Awaits Ladies

I'd like to start off by saying that today was an extremely busy day. I woke up late with a ton of things to do, went to class and bought a car all before three o clock. Buying a car is a lot of work. And costs an absolute ton of money. I now have more respect for anyone who has done the used car process and lived to talk about it (metaphorically and financially.)

Today an old friend contacted me, asking me if I would take her on a date. Not just any date. For her psychology class she is required to go out on a creative date with someone whom she has gone on previous dates with. She also agreed to pay.

Are you kidding me?!?!

This is amazing. How often does a pretty girl ask you to take her out on a cool date, something you'll both probably enjoy, and offers to pay? This is a dream come true.

Now call me a hopeless romantic but I love going on good dates with girls I enjoy talking to. As I go through life, I am constantly coming up with random things that I'd like to go do with cool girls.

Some dates I've done in the past:

Cliff jumping- While being mildly dangerous, cliff jumping is a good way to get people out of their shell a little bit and is super exhilarating. Not for the feint of heart or for self conscious girls.

Hiking- Hiking is always fun because you can talk to each other, but your both doing something so there isn't any awkward staring or weird times when talking isn't aloud (like movies.)

Kayaking- Kayaking was super fun. It gets you out and experiencing great weather over the water and gives something to do to prevent awkwardness.

Science Center- Sounds lame I know, but think about it. I went with a cool girl who had a sense of wonder and was comfortable with her self enough to show it. Finding common ground with your nerdy sides can be super beneficial.

Comedy Show- Going to a comedy show was great. I love being able to see live talent and it gives you something to laugh about. Being able to laugh together is always important.

As you can see, my dates tend to follow a certain trend. I like to go out and experience the world. I like to experience new things and to be able to share something fun with someone. While a movie can be cool with someone you already know, or someone your just trying to kiss, (refer to kissing post) they aren't very recreational and you really have no time to learn anything about that person.

If you don't have a sense of adventure, your not the girl for me. I need someone who has a sense of adventure and a sense of wonder. Also must be a bit of a geek.

Dates I'd like to try: 


Bungee Jumping- When I find the girl who will jump off of a bridge with me, I will know that I've found true love. I've never been bungee jumping but I'm planning on going as soon as I get the time and money. Bringing a cool girl along for the drive and the jump would be an amazing addition to an already cool trip.

Theatre- Not like a movie theatre, a professional theatre where we can see a romantic play and really enjoy the purity of live acting.

Picnic- EPIC PICNIC! Picnic on the top of camelback mountain or somewhere cool like that. Enjoy a glorious meal of adventure with a side of victory.

Dancing- I know this isn't first date material, but I would love to take a lady out dancing. Cool dancing, not club dancing. Maybe even take some lessons. Wouldn't square dancing be fun?

Anyone have any other date ideas?

For this creative date assignment, I've decided to take her up to Payson, Arizona and hike through the natural land bridge at Tonto national monument. It's a beautiful area, where we can climb, explore and maybe lay down a small picnic with some easy snacks. It isn't too advanced so I don't have to worry about her failing or getting hurt.

Any adventurous ladies out there?!?!
Lets go on a date!

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EDIT: This blog just broke 1000 views. While that is miniscule compared to the real bloggers out there, I'd like to thank everyone who has been reading and following along with what I have to say. You guys are awesome. Give me some feedback!!

Be Honest

Honest people are hard to come by.

Has any of you ever purchased a used car? No one who sells their used car is totally honest. If your honest to the ones you love but are dishonest to a stranger can you really call your self an honest person?

One day about two months ago, I was having a heart to heart with my boss. For those of you that don't know, I work at Cold Stone and have about two and a half years of experience at the Gilbert/Germann location. My boss is a 68 year old, ex marine who has lived a tough life but punched adversity in the face and rose up to provide a good living for his children. When he says something, people listen. After about two hours of us talking about business, life and women, I asked him "You know you could have done big things, you worked in the car industry for thirty years and was super successful, why didn't you open a car dealership?" He looked at me and shed some pretty dense wisdom, he said "I consider myself a pretty honest person and selling things to people is generally all about how dishonest you can be."

From what I have experienced so far, I find this to be pretty true.

"So has the car ever had any accidents?"
"Oh no, car is very good, no crash" (funny accent)
-Carfax report says its been in a head on collision-

People value their honesty less when it comes to selling their items.
Cars are a perfect example of this because of all of the different things that could go wrong with cars and the amount of money people have invested in them.

I'm currently in the market for a used vehicle and if any of you have been in my shoes you will testify that it is brutal. Everything is over priced, no one speaks english, and everything under ten thousand dollars has some serious issue you need to address.

Anyone have a quality used car their trying to get rid of?
Anyone have any tips for buying a used car?

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